this show is a gift
reblog if you’re in love with Poussey Washington
so i made myself a new phone background
Unfortunately, the people who are supposed to love us aren’t always able to give us the kind of love we need. Whether they are our mothers or our fathers, our grandparents or our siblings, some family, no matter how good their intentions, leave us feeling empty, invalidated, uncared for, and alone. And on the days when that pain becomes too much to bear, our work is to recognize that those people whose love we so desperately pine for are never going to be able to meet our needs. Not because they don’t care, but because they can’t change who they are.
Their scant affection isn’t a reflection on our worth. It isn’t even about us. It’s about them and their own limitations and struggles. It’s about their unique way of expressing love and the fact that it doesn’t match up with our own. And we don’t have to internalize that. What we need is to start reaching out to the right people. We need to create a family of people outside of our family. People who can meet our needs and reciprocate our love.
We need to appreciate our families for the ways in which they are able to show they care, and be accepting of the ways they can’t. We need to make peace with who they are and if necessary, we need to give ourselves permission to let go. We need to know that our worth isn’t something another person’s love can give or take away. We need to trust that with or without their affection, we are enough.
Daniell Koepke (via junecoast)
Couldn’t disagree with this more, how is this helpful to self acceptance to just be like ‘these people fail me and thats okay because they have the magic title of family member’? No way, you deserve way better than that. especially when it comes to parents. And to say ‘well they cant change who they are’ is a load of old shit 4 years ago i was an xfactor watching mindless mua wannabe now i am a psychologist in training, an activist, hell i dont even own a tv anymore. Im pretty sure im not the only person in the world capable of changing and it shouldnt be a fucking challenge to love someone you chose to bring in to this world. That top paragraph is basically saying when the people you are supposed to be closest with fail you, make excuses for them, and that is never gonna allow you to accept yourself. It’s not your job to put up with or baby anyone. And if we excuse this behaviour it will never break the cycle it will perpetuate and normalise it. If your family is letting you down then if you want a truly honest relationship with them you should tell them you need more, and if they refuse and try and pin it on you then you do not have to just accept it. Do reach out to the right people but do not allow your family to treat you however they want. It doesnt work like that. Then you can let go because you will know that you demanded what you are worth and it was their choice to let you down.
Floral Tattoos Three: Remarkable Drawings
uuuuuuuuuuunrrghf these are fucking beautiful if only i had a good pain threshold.
I have no idea what’s going on
aww i remember this :’)